just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
