I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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