Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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