let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
