Grow some girl-balls and come out already
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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