yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
