Already got asked if we're dating
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
