Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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