So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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