I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
