we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
