life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
