Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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