so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Randomize
