At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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