Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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