shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
