Little spoons don't ask big questions
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
