Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
