it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
