Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize