butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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