you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
