waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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