That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
