idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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