Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
