we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
