after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Randomize
