You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
