What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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