My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
