I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
