I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
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