you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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