Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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