Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
