its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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