Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Randomize
