i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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