I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
