Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
