i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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