I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
