Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
