"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
