Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
