Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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