I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Alive.
So much puke
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
