I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
