I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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