Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
