I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
